The Writing Block

The Pen is mightier than the sword, for while the sword can make someone fall with a single swipe, a pen can touch someone with a single swipe

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  • Nobody Home
  • Portal
  • The Stumped One
  • The Worms
  • A Moment Lingers
  • The Whipping Boy
  • Washing Windows
  • Off to the City
  • The Gray
  • Diry Laundry
  • Old Clock
  • Wheel of Fortune
  • Hammer and Steel
  • Second Guessing
  • I Want to Go Home
  • A Tear for James
  • The End of the Mob
  • Another Dream
  • Taxing Issues
  • A Knocking in the Night
  • To a Child of the Stars
  • City on the Shadows
  • Pillar of Sand
  • Whitewashed Walls

    Nobody Home

    1/6/00; 12:21 PM

    He held his head low
    As he left the lowly district of the city
    He walked through the dirty gutters
    Kicking the empty cans into the oncoming traffic
    But the pleasure of popping tires
    Was no consolation to him

    It began to rain
    And the gutters began to consume the deluge
    But while the leaves are washed away
    His soul is as cluttered as can be

    Itís been thirty minutes of torrential downpours
    But he only carries terrifying thoughts
    Itís only twenty minutes until he reaches home
    But he has ten minutes left to walk

    A bus passes and splashes the man
    But he isnít chilled to the bone
    For his entire body is weary enough
    And while depression stems in his thoughts
    His only dream is home

    Since home is where the heart is
    There must be no home for him
    For in the floods that have tortured his spirit
    All of his hopes have been washed out

    Portal

    1/7/00; 2:12 PM

    The portal creaked open
    And I was too far away to stop it
    Slowly, I saw her walk away
    Her back turned
    With me looking straight at her

    Her strides are moderate
    And her eyes were forward
    Why did she seem so alone?

    There was no one around her
    Just a sea of emptiness and tranquillity
    Oh how she made a stir as she walked about
    But now the portal rest open

    I scream and I cry
    For I donít want to say goodbye
    And I definantly donít want her to go
    If I have no opportunity to see her off

    But I am too late
    I have missed someone that I could feel no hate
    And I canít even say a quaint farewell

    I turn away and walk home
    Is there anywhere I can really go?
    But now she has been swallowed up
    And the portal is closed

    The Stumped One

    1/11/00; 11:59 AM

    He used to ask me a riddle a week
    And almost every week I got it
    But then the poor chap lost his marbles
    Because the one great enigma in his life
    Was left unanswered

    Now he lives inside the wall
    It could only be that such a great man
    Would have such a great fall
    And now he bides his time standing all alone
    With one great question before him
    But no answer to show

    The gargantuan query leers vigorously before him
    Like an angry drunkard whose temper exploded
    But he is without a word
    Without a fidget
    Without a reaction
    And most unfortunately without a response

    I can still see his shameful face when I close my eyes
    Him with his closed mind and a heart wrenched dry
    With a blank stare stabbing at the wind
    Having no answer
    To the question just asked to him

    That mortified look, my brain will never leave behind
    Every time someone ask what query boggles his mind
    And to that question I can only reply
    ďWhat truths can be told every time you lie?Ē

    The Worms

    1/11/00; 3:17 PM

    He wallowed in the fields
    With the moths and the millers
    Wondering about his wives and the letters

    He sleeps through the morning
    And snorts awake at twelve
    Living out his life long hell
    And the worms burrow into his chest

    They dig deep
    They drive him back to sleep
    Leaving him lost
    In times long gone

    They dig deeper
    His breathing turns from spurts to pants
    Heís beginning to realize one solemn fact
    That he doesnít have much further to go

    They dig deeper than they ever have before
    The moths begin to fly in a storm
    And the millers exit for the ones they adore
    The worms have dug through him
    And now heís alone

    A Moment Lingers

    1/11/00; 10:53 PM

    I was laying there
    Bruised, battered, and bleeding
    My body strewn askewly on the floor
    My soul was torn, tattered, and reeling
    And it laid listlessly about me
    I felt more pain than I ever have before

    I fell and suddenly my head was raised
    Oh, I only wish that moment lasted longer
    For itís one Iíll remember the rest of my days

    There I was
    My mind not completely there
    If you could tell, I didnít care
    There I was
    The atmosphere changed from grim to lovely
    But itíd be completely different
    If someone wasnít there with me

    I was there
    And things were good because you were too
    Though we both stared in a semi-dreamy state
    First, blankly at each other
    Then nervously about the room
    To this day, I wonder how I got there with you

    The moment passed
    But the memory lingers
    And itís not your average photo in the album
    Itís one that I keep framed
    One that will forever remain safe
    Even if the only part I remember is you

    The Whipping Boy

    1/12/00; 7:31 AM

    He was whipped
    His sweat fell off his back
    And so did his skin
    He was beaten so hard
    He had no idea where heíd been

    The now was his only refuge
    Too bad it was his only remorse
    Now was his memory
    And he had no means to block it

    Another lash
    Another tear
    Another time he wished he was somewhere else

    But where?
    Is there truly anywhere to go?
    For such a dreadful and long painful time
    Makes the poor man lose his mind
    But his heart was thrown from the window

    He would be flying too
    But he was tied to the ground
    Being whipped all day long
    For the past he had forgotten

    Washing Windows

    1/12/00; 11:30 PM

    The window must be cleaned
    For it makes the sun gleam
    And when I look out it
    The sunshine doesnít reach me

    I can watch it rise
    I can watch it set
    But no matter what
    I am left with no real feeling

    The window is dirty
    Itís been tainted by things outside
    Some wish to break it
    Some to restore it
    But the ones out there donít know how to treat it

    I love the window
    I do my part
    Cleaning it from the inside
    In time, it will shine
    But only when itís clean out there too

    Everyday I stare outside
    Wondering when someone will come to look at me
    Maybe then the sun will quit itís gleam
    For the window must be cleaned

    Off to the City

    1/13/00; 7:30 AM

    He was young
    He was lost and looking
    Yearning for love
    So he went to the city
    Where all of the romantic movies had been shot

    He went to the club
    But it didnít open till ten
    He was slightly dejected
    But he moved on

    He went to the little hot dog stand on the corner
    And a fat, greasy man was there to greet him
    They had a nice chat
    Until the man couldnít cover his fees
    The salesman spat in his face
    And cursed him to run along

    But the story didnít end there
    As they never seem to do
    For he wandered about the city
    Looking for love
    While his wife was home praying to those above
    Begging for her beloved husband to come home

    The Gray

    1/13/00; 11:18 AM

    The gray surrounds us all
    We were swimming in it
    But weíre beginning to drown

    It is our hunger that drives us
    And the grayís stomach is growling
    We ourselves may be the innocent victims
    But itís our fault weíre being hunted

    When times are of trouble
    We flee to the gray
    Well, thatís my story any way
    But in the gray we can hide
    We can bid our time
    Biding our troubles goodbye
    Or at least stay until they pass away

    The trouble starts when the trouble stops
    For when itís all over
    The every inviting maw of the gray shuts
    The light leaves
    And hopes of escape are no more
    For next comes the gray that is the storm

    We are drowning
    We are suffocating
    And weíre only hoping that the pain
    Doesnít last much longer
    For we ran from trouble
    But the gray was much larger

    Dirty Laundry

    1/14/00; 2:12 PM

    I have been hung out to dry
    And the sun is roasting me
    I am only asking why Iím here
    And wondering how to stop it

    The sun bombards me
    And my skin is peeling off
    Now Iím exposed
    Before the crowding masses
    They can see my fears
    And laugh at my pleasures

    My baptism is over
    And my soul has retired to the ashes
    But only to burn again soon

    Old Clock

    1/16/00; 9:10 PM

    I heard what they said
    And it hurt me in the head
    Brought my heart to tears
    Almost made me wish I was dead
    Yes, I heard what they said
    No, the ticking clock in my mind wouldnít stop

    I also heard about what they said
    And why they said it
    I understand the implications completely
    I heard it all
    And itís all in my head
    But that goes without saying
    Yes, I am crazy

    Brain spasm brain spasm
    Yes, I can feel the chasm open in my mind
    My hopes have been thwarted
    But please donít stop it
    Iím relishing and deviously delving
    Into the immaculate scenario at hand

    They said what I heard
    About what I thought I said
    That my heart was crying
    And I wished them all dead
    Yes, everything is all in my head
    But the ticking clock in my mind has started again

    Wheel of Fortune

    1/16/00; 9:22 PM

    I see nothing
    I feel something
    And I think things may finally be falling through
    The wheel is cranking
    I can feel that clearly
    Too bad my peace of mind is failing

    The blindfold falls off
    My senses are shocked
    Enthralled in the onslaught of onlookers
    I can hear the wheel creaking
    I can see the folks speaking
    But my SOS is SOL
    Because none of them are listening

    The clouds and clear blue sky
    Sear under the pale white sun
    Too bad the landís favorite son
    Is shaking his head
    At the sight before him

    And now I must say to my friends before me
    ďWatch me die as the wheel turns slowly!
    I am not the love starved fool you perceive me to be,
    Just a cunning fool with the genius disease!Ē

    My arms begin tearing
    And my eyes begin glaring
    Watching the crowd cheering
    At my apparent suffering
    As my eyes begin tearing

    So I shut them
    But everything was still quite dreary

    Hammer and Steel

    1/18/00; 7:18 PM

    The hammer came crashing down
    And a few in the crowd
    Were lost under its weight
    They never had a chance to escape

    I saw it rise again
    And all my skin did was crawl
    As I saw it move closer
    Iíd run if I could
    But the crowd wouldnít move
    Once again, I heard the hammer fall

    This time I felt it
    My legs began to shake
    My sanity is wearing thin
    My eyes are searching to and fro
    Screaming at me to say which way to go
    The crowd, ever persistent
    Refused to move away

    Suddenly the shadow creeped over me
    And I knew the next metallic clang
    Would be accompanied by my crushed bones
    The hammer was quite thoughtless in who it chose

    I tried to run once again
    Attempting to shove through the crowds
    And my mounting fear

    Suddenly the whole lot looked up
    The hammer fell down
    But only I was struck

    Second Guessing

    1/19/00; 4:54 PM

    There are people out there
    Who sometimes wonder how things are
    Then there are people out there
    Who wish not to see the stars

    And there are other people
    Who donít know where things are
    But they search all day
    And cry all night
    Wondering why they fight though such strife

    I donít know who I am
    I just know things arenít how they seem
    But I canít change the cogs in this machine
    It will run its course
    Then it will run away

    Today, I have seen many people walk by
    But everyday itís all the same
    Everyone knows where theyíre going
    But no one knows where they are being led

    All we do is dread
    Wondering what course we are taking
    And of course, things arenít going our way

    I Want to Go Home

    1/21/00; 2:41 PM

    It drips, it drops
    It stutters, shudders, falls
    And it stops
    Everything is all gone
    Except for what you forgot to bring

    Itís at home
    Waiting for your return
    Wanting for you to come home soon
    Too bad itís resting in a forgotten mess
    Laying there
    Accumulating itís own distress

    It loved your touch
    But you shall be feeling it no more
    Back at home
    Transversing long and story dreaming
    Because itís lost in the dark

    And the darkness is where we reside
    For sometimes we forget where to hide
    About why we want to get to the show
    And how weíre going to get there

    And we blunder about
    Stubbing our toes
    Wondering why we leave everything at home

    A Tear for James

    1/25/00; 4:18 PM

    He cried for the longest time today
    No one is completely sure why
    Was it the burden he held on his back,
    Or did he have quickly withering sanity?
    Could it be that his back has broken,
    And his mind has withered away?

    His tears came down with a tumultuous struggle
    Every single one flooding the pool on the floor
    No one knows when his sorrow will cease
    For no oneís sure what heís crying for

    It mustíve be for his good friend and neighbor
    Who we all used to call ďStrange Uncle JamesĒ
    For his delusional derisions were laughable
    But his heart was golden just the same

    We all had a heavy heart
    But I never knew one could cry so hard
    He hiccuped with sadness
    And he shook with a sorrow he couldnít let out

    A lost loved one is never forgotten
    But when one loses the one they adore
    No amount of tears cleanses the soul

    The End of the Mob

    1/25/00; 5:14 PM

    I was among them in the crowds
    Marching in the parade
    It was full of people
    Trying to earn a good living
    So they could live life for their own sake

    It had taken a while
    But after many left turns
    And after many beer-bottle-nocturnes
    We finally reached our goal
    In this promised land
    To each his own home

    But I was in the back of the line
    Not being one to shove my way to the front
    They had obviously been marching for their own good
    For they shut the door
    And left me out

    My promised piece of the pie had been eaten
    And Iím sure digestion had run itís course
    Of course, I knew that pie wouldíve tasted bad
    But it was the only one left on the shelf

    I marched back home, all alone
    Being the proverbial bottom dog
    Of some greedy manís climb to the top

    All I have is my freedom,
    My feet, and myself
    While all they have is their riches
    But one only wonders
    If they have a wealth of something else

    Another Dream

    1/26/00; 10:24 PM

    Time falls away all the time
    And some watch it pass by
    But if the time was right
    Iíd grasp it and hold it tight
    Wouldnít that be the only thing to do?

    If times were bad
    Wouldnít you hold your dearest things closest to you,
    Even if all of your hopes fell though?
    I know I would
    And hopefully I wouldnít be the one to break them

    I know that sometimes I hold things too tightly
    Weíre all human
    Some of us cling to others
    Some of us break
    But when life reaches the time of dire straights
    I can only wonder what route Iíll take

    That time will come eventually
    But for now, Iíll be wishing and dreaming
    While Iím waiting
    For if such a horrid crisis hits our God-forsaken land
    I hope youíll be there to lend a helping hand

    Taxing Issues

    1/29/00; 11:10 PM

    The doctors say that everything isn't that bad
    So I guess that's why there's only a hammering in my head
    That happens to strike my soul every time it misses
    For it wants only to smite all my wishes

    Why is it that the hammer began striking?
    Was it truly just because of an act many people do nightly?
    All of the doctors shrewdly shake their heads in ignorance
    But that's their job
    And they'll pick up their paycheck with such indifference

    It only had to be just one didn't it?
    And suddenly life turned from the unexpected
    To many and many an unwanted fear
    I don't know why my good tidings disappeared
    But I can certainly assume
    And maybe I'll spawn a mule on my way home

    Once again the doctors collectively shake their heads
    For now the hammer has someone else to call a friend
    'Tis nothing more than a lowly kitchen fork
    That loves to scratch at my leg
    What is it that these doctors are trying to save?

    Now my soul is aching
    And my leg is itching
    But the pain has only just begun
    For my memories are leering
    And my heart begins searing
    This sort of fumigation is never fun

    Finally a doctor steps forward
    To my surprise he is laughing at my demise
    But how struck should I be?
    Honestly, my predicament is a rarity
    So why shouldn't one overpaid surgeon be riotous
    While the rest are scratching their patchy stubble insightfully

    "The issue is so simple you see,
    All you need to do is talk to me!
    I am a doctor with a Ph.D.
    So get on the bleeding couch,
    And begin you bloody discourse of everyday issues."

    With that the surgeon slammed me onto the seat
    Slapping the restraining straps around my hands and my feet

    From there I told how I yearned for tomorrow
    When moods are much brighter
    And hope remains stronger

    But things will always be better tomorrow
    For they aren't spoiled by today's trials and sorrows
    Maybe then, there won't be a hammering in my head
    That being said
    The doctor laughs again

    A Knocking in the Night

    1/31/00; 2:13 PM

    It once was a desolate wasteland
    Many and many a year ago
    Sometimes thing would grow
    But only by stealing from others

    Thieving is a profitable sport
    Running around the town
    Watching people flail and scream
    While they are trying to gun you down

    People will watch you stealthily glide by
    But why do you wish to do this?
    Is this wasteland worth the pennies
    From that poor ladyís pocket?
    I guess no one will ever truly know
    But that doesnít mean you must find out

    I can see the landís scars going deeper and deeper
    But all you do is pick the scabs
    You agitate the skin again and again
    Never showing your face
    And trying so quietly to get rich quick

    We all know the voices from above
    Never wish nor fear
    Anything at all

    If only you could quit your robbery
    But your scarring of the wasteland
    Last all night long

    To a Child of the Stars

    1/31/00; 7:09 PM

    Brighter stars in the limelight shineth
    Maybe someday weíll fell their radiant rays
    In time, we will walk in their luminescent glow
    And we shall frolic the days away

    But in such limelight
    The stars shant shine so brightly
    Sometimes, they canít detract us
    From our worldly world of colorful lights
    And atrocious delusions
    We cannot see their ever-pale light
    That tells us which way to go
    Thus, they cannot help us grow

    We choose to not see the distance ahead
    But rather, to disdainfully trip our feet in dread
    Our eyes focused on the ground below
    Not peering once to every childís dream above

    They want us to believe
    But we cannot see
    So we clumsily clamor off to our demise
    We still choose to keep our eyes off the skies
    Avoiding the dimly shining light
    Stumbling that much closer to a drearier plight

    Away! Away is what they say
    In an ever strange manner
    Away to where?
    There is no wretched strife here
    We choose not to follow our dreamís directions

    We will not be the children to our parents forever
    But someday, and it may not be se far away
    Our children will emulate our clumsy clamor

    And on that same to so faraway day
    Those brighter stars will step from the limelight
    And away from their shelter
    They leave to roam freely
    But it will be too late to join them again

    For now, everything rest peacefully in quiet
    And those brighter stars in the limelight continue to shineth
    So please, donít take your eyes off the skies

    City on the Shadows

    2/3/00; 2:28 PM

    They all reside in the darkest city to our eyes
    Running from the times we left them
    Fading away in their disguise
    Hiding from the likes of you and me
    Who choose not to see
    That the darkest city is our own

    We are living in a citadel
    Of darkness perpetuated by a dismal light
    It is this that we remember

    And we will remember it
    For this is the reason we are torn
    But they are used to living here
    In the darkness they adore

    So what stops us from embracing it?
    We are the source of our own evil
    That used to scurry from the shadows
    And retire to our pockets
    So that maybe one day we may finally grasp it
    And hold it in our collectively sweaty palms

    So now we scurry to the shadows
    Shuddering at the odd looks people give us
    When we give them odd looks
    And run from their troubles
    Off to our darkness
    Where we all belong

    Pillar of Sand

    2/5/00; 1:45 PM

    I am chained to my own will
    Entraped, and never to return
    Itís a shame that Iím stuck this way
    For my will is a pillar of sand

    There may only be one link to the chain
    But it binds me just the same
    Giving me less of a place to go
    No matter though
    For nowhere is where I was traveling in the first place

    My will holds up a larger temple
    One that is set in molten stone
    So that things can change
    And you donít have to press too hard
    But all of the pain comes from the burns and scars

    Anything on a foundation of sand
    Is left to the will of the wind
    All it takes is a slight breeze
    And everything will hastily start
    Their orderly fall to the ground

    The whole lot will fall away
    And a new pillar will be built
    And from that moment onward
    The foundation will erode to nothing more

    Whitewashed Walls

    2/5/00; 1:58 PM

    Everyone is so pleased on the outside
    So why must I be sedueced into staying within
    Where everything is dull and grim
    Will I ever be free with the rest of them?

    There is sunshine outside
    I can tell by the glow on my whitewashed walls
    These things Iíve been staring at for ages
    But all they can do is chip and break
    While I sit here and rot

    Others have escaped this peaceful hellhole
    Nothing ever happens here
    It must be too tranquil for my own good
    For Iím trapped by my thoughts
    The same ones that build more whitewash walls

    I guess thereís no escape
    The time never seems right for me to be free
    For things always seem to fall away
    And hopes only know how to fall through
    My dreams are gone
    And every single desire of mine is shot dead

    The sun is now setting
    And I canít see their smiling faces anymore
    Once again the walls remind me
    That in this place, there is no peace to be found

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    All writings are copyright of Chris Ward 1998-1999