The Writing Block

The Pen is mightier than the sword, for while the sword can make someone fall with a single swipe, a pen can touch someone with a single swipe

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  • Not Now nor Never
  • Break
  • All You Can Eat
  • Saving Grace
  • Mass Hysteria
  • What is that Smell?
  • Burning Breast
  • Reflecting
  • Versus
  • Grilled Chops
  • Hiding Under Rocks
  • Talk to Strangers
  • Dirty Untouchable
  • Leftheadedness
  • Last Encounter
  • Empty Toybox
  • The Ward
  • Blindfold
  • Common Man
  • Life After Death
  • Portrait
  • It
  • Spelling List
  • Seed
  • Departing

    Not Now nor Never

    9/3/99; 2:19 PM

    The vial across my face
    Hides the scars of my disgrace
    Of the time I was defaced
    A time so long ago

    Wash the stone
    Its chiseled statue yet recovered
    Right now just a block in the mountain

    Again I try
    But today is just not the time
    My work tries to make due
    But it complains in disdain
    "I'm tired."

    The block will be there tomorrow
    My life's mission one day delayed
    I can try later
    But the face won't change
    Stone doesn't run for it's quite tame

    Sure, time will tick
    Water will wash the rock
    And soon it will be gone
    But what difference does a short time make?
    These things last eternity don't they?
    If time didn't run you yesterday.


    9/6/99; 10:16 PM

    Forever and then some
    I wait, the winds whipping
    Through the flags, across my face
    I'm looking down the mountain
    Recalling my sojourn up the hill
    With all the burdens that I carried
    I drug them half the way

    I watched many sunsets in the valley
    Many moonrises too
    Of this I do once again
    A sudden gust pushes me to stop
    With day's final breath

    I camp, but light no fire
    I have trail mix to feed my mouth
    And the stars to warm my bones
    Resting them under a silver oak

    And everything looks silver
    The wishful moon never blinking
    Reminding me everything is here
    Watching me with a smile
    The one it's kept for years

    I better be keeping one too
    The mountain is growing higher by the minute
    Promising more challenge in future days

    All you can Eat

    9/6/99; 10:31 PM

    Greetings sir and welcome
    Well come on sir come in!
    Don't look so scared
    They won't bite
    They were hoping you'd come

    And don't they taste good?
    Yes! Have a few!
    Take them to your room
    And when you're done come for more
    They will be waiting

    Yes, they're so hot, soft, and tender
    They ooze at your leisure
    Don't just taste them
    Take them all
    You don't know who long they've been waiting
    So please do enjoy them

    Not to mention
    That's why our establishment's here
    Delivering the sauciest succulent delights
    They're only here to please
    Or that's how we like to see it any way
    At Ned's Seafood Buffet

    Saving Grace

    9/7/99; 7:19 AM

    Was I wrong to do the right thing
    To save this madman from his moment of fate?
    After he shot five men
    I took the bullet for his sake

    I mistook the man
    I thought he police were mistaken
    Thanking the victimizer for the victim
    I did something most would call out of the question
    Now people call me a crazy fool
    And an alibi

    No! I didn't help the man!
    I was just going to the store for baked bread
    I had 14 character witnesses
    Too bad they're all dead

    Why did I do such a thing
    Finally, an opportunity for a gallant deed
    I thought I could save a life
    From wrongful fate running through him
    But his fate crossed with me

    I'm in the hospital now
    A man on life support
    Charged with a genocide conspiracy
    If only I knew my wife had already been to the store

    Mass Hysteria

    9/8/99; 6:54 AM

    Red eyes looking straight at me
    Piercing my soul
    Heating my bones
    My spirit becomes restless
    It only wants to kill

    I stop back and run
    Those eyes scared me
    My blood is still boiling
    My spirit thirsty for more
    I have no worries now
    Just a bad case of nausea

    It didn't come about from a bug
    The smell of blood makes one sick
    Even a bloodthirsty one like me
    Maybe I shouldn't have killed twenty-three
    It's over now
    And I feel the power

    It's rushing through me
    I want more blood
    Because I've been denied the things
    I dream of

    I look in the mirror
    Red eyes looking straight at me
    Making me hungry again

    What is the Smell?

    9/7/99; 7:15 AM

    More disturbing matters
    Fecal matter is running from my pen
    And even if it smells bad
    It's coming in some presentable manner

    Days so long ago
    Are so similar to today somehow
    Odd how life runs in circles
    Like dogs chasing their tails
    But at least dogs enjoy themselves

    But that's a candy-coated outlook
    At a deranged situation
    More shit runs from my pen
    I better do something with it

    Days so long ago
    I wish for them not to knock at my door
    Doesn't matter though
    Someone let them in

    But the brown smelly goo
    Isn't only coming from my pen
    It's coming from other people all around
    Who really don't want it
    So they funnel it down my throat

    I don't resist
    I can't resist
    I won't resist
    Maybe in the future we will learn there are toilets

    Burning Breast

    9/8/99; 9:03 AM

    I am stuck in the arctic room
    And the only warmth I feel is my chest
    A nice burning feeling that keeps me going
    Making me remember what I left

    Forcing me forward
    But I am chained to a pole
    Like a sick Doberman
    That was biting too often

    This is my fate
    My legs gave out a week ago
    As for my crutch?
    Ha! My saving grace left me long ago
    I'd crawl on all fours if I could
    Too bad I only have two limbs

    I can't afford a wheelchair
    And I don't want to freeze
    But no one wants to see me
    Not even myself
    So I've locked myself in this cold room
    Keeping myself out
    But letting everything in


    9/8/99; 7:33 PM

    Wonderfully wondrous in many a way
    I sing a tale of those I abode
    In these lands I once called home
    But was driven from by insolence

    On the morning I left home there were few to greet me
    Fewer still to send me off
    One wept, one cried,
    One even said goodbye
    Yet they say that when I went away
    The sun was over my head like a halo

    I left, and by some was quickly forgotten
    Others quietly wondered why I departed
    Or if I would return
    Or if I even should.
    But I was hardly missed

    Life was still busy after I left
    Everyone still trying to attain the big three
    Money, love, and faith
    They all looked around the town for them
    Not even in the gutters did it lay

    Then one day a boy named Paul found a book
    The cover, barley attached, said Reflecting
    The boy was curious and told his parents
    But no one wanted the memory

    They knew what it was to look to the past
    And they knew their past was bleak
    But they knew their future was bleaker still
    And they didn't like where the book might lead them

    So the curios boy brought the book to school
    No one there understood it a bit
    Was it the sloppy manuscript? The big words?
    Or was it the deeper meanings?

    Paul was a frustrated child now
    His failures made him sad
    This made his parents queer and worrisome
    The courts ruled the book made Paul lonesome
    And that he would have to discard it to stay
    But the captivated child had too many questions
    Their insolence drove him away


    9/10/99; 11:00 AM

    Don't let go, it's not time to leave
    Escape isn't the only way out
    Go, charge very far
    You may run thought the window
    But at least not through the door

    You fret for all the things you fix
    You trouble yourself for not being in the mix
    And you order worry, trouble
    And wonder for yourself
    Self pity is what you like
    For no one else

    Sure, be a compassionate soul
    Help the troubled
    Beloved the bold
    And bring kind deeds keenly
    Right where they're needed
    But please be kind to yourself

    Yes my lord
    I want to go home
    Away today from yesterdays disdain
    And the stories that follow
    For slipping in what pigs wallow in
    But my name is encased and encrusted

    Grilled Chops

    9/13/99; 10:28 AM

    Many travelers trickling many ways
    Shoving through the paths before them
    Never remembering where they came to
    Or where they came from
    Or if they'll go away

    The sun was setting on their forgotten heads
    The cleavers ax was for them
    And quite a bounty did they cast
    A sun fit for a king
    Make money and kill the killer

    So you got that $5 million reward?
    What will you spend it on now,
    Your car, your tuition,
    Your grandmother's kitchen?
    No, you'll be spending it on your funeral

    We will get you tonight
    We are gladly obliging our obligation
    We will avenge their death
    Our friends recently off the executioner's block
    Enjoy your wealth while you can
    Your head will be next

    Hiding Under Rocks

    9/13/99; 10:39 AM

    Shoes, they sit in the corner
    The leather turning a putrid green
    Maybe the little gnomes left a present
    But it's probably more than it seems

    Like what's on the table above the shoes
    A layer of dust I've never seen before
    Invades my privacy again and again
    Piercing my nostrils
    Making my eyes sink in

    Until I sneeze
    Now how could such a lovely body
    Hold something so disgusting?
    Goes to show we all hold secrets

    And we hide under rocks
    Not letting the bad stuff seep out
    Until we force ourselves
    Much like that sneeze
    Wherein we hold back
    The truth kills anyone

    Talk to Strangers

    9/13/99; 11:36 AM

    A ludicrous man asked me as I walked down the street
    If I had a nickel
    It was obvious he needed something to eat
    With shredded clothes
    And a shaking hand extended
    I lifted him us and took him to the show

    And there I met a nice guy
    He wondered why I had a beggar with me
    I told him,
    "Sir, if you please will you please sit down?
    I'll let you look here as I show the man around
    It was never the same for me my friends
    I've never been so cold in an ally
    A holey jacket warming my veins
    I'm getting him something to eat any ways."
    "That's all right." He replied

    No pleasantries exchanged
    From the man to my friend
    I don't know why, but the poor guy couldn't look at him

    I led him through the show
    And to a nice market-like store
    The barter was cheap
    And the fare was right
    The beggar man said thanks
    And offered his hand in delight

    I took it and shook it wholeheartedly
    Amazed I was when the man just stared at me
    He looked deathly pale
    His skin was cold
    I knew what happened
    And I couldn't take it anymore

    A man froze to death in my hand!
    It's a strange feeling
    Doing all the nice things
    All the right stuff for just the right reasons
    The poor soul was put down
    But at least out of his misery
    Adorning his holey jacket
    But smiling brightly

    Dirty Untouchable

    9/14/99; 7:09 AM

    I throw my last coin down the well
    Wishing for all things that are good
    And some that are bad
    But is it worth a quarter, dime, and nickel?

    I'm no longer dirt poor
    But I'm as broke as it
    Not just in the wallet
    But in a few other places as well
    I walk through the fires
    Only wishing I was in hell

    Then again I am there
    Prove me why I should be wrong please
    I don't want to be condemned already

    People can be so inconsiderate
    So inconsistent and volatile
    People take what they get and want more
    Take applause with salt
    The world might be theirs
    But it's not what they asked for


    9/14/99; 5:10 PM

    A bomb, ticking in my head
    Tick tock tick tock tick tick tick tick
    Every little vibration
    And my mind swells to the left
    Forgetting about escape

    Voices screaming, wanting me to leave
    My dreams, my hopes
    They remind me there should be none such pleasures
    Work is better
    Productivity is bliss

    What do you know
    I'm being productive
    But the left side swells more
    It wants logic, it wants reason
    But I threw those out the window

    A long time ago in fact
    I gave up on those tools
    They clouded my view
    And now the left side is starving

    Dreams, hopes, all waste of time
    My brain wants to be fed
    But only the right side is getting nourished
    Tick tock tick tock tick tick tick tick
    My heart stops at the final sound
    And my left side seeps out

    Last Encounter

    9/14/99; 5:46 PM

    I know you wanted things to be different
    Sure, I was late
    Indeed, I forgot the date
    But please don't leave me like this

    I know what you mean
    Yes, it is shinny
    Very beautiful in fact
    Wasn't it such a lovely present?

    But why did you bring it here?
    Sure, we may have our quarrels
    We may have some bad times
    Harsh feelings
    But its presence isn't necessary

    Oh, so it's for symbolism!
    I gave it to you for your 17th birthday
    But we weren't that close then

    No, I didn't mean to offend you
    My words weren't bitter
    I want us to still be friends
    Please, don't show me that present here!

    Please do it because I'm annoying
    Please do it because you're sad
    But please don't shoot me because I am who I am

    Empty Toybox

    9/15/99; 2:11 PM

    Pain, it's there and we can't hear it
    We forgot how to listen
    And now doom as descended upon us

    Death, the toil of our breaths
    And it is sped as we breathe faster
    Every time we fear
    And other times when we expire
    The end is only coming closer

    But why die by natural causes
    When you can die by natural means
    Like lightning striking someone
    Or being knocked over by a tree

    And what have we done to deserve this?
    Were we mad, poor, and neglectful
    No one understands why we deserve this
    Except me, but I knew we had it coming

    The lifeline was cut off quickly
    My time had come
    But I wasn't done
    Everything left scattered
    Cast all across the floor
    What a mess I'll never clean

    The Ward

    9/17/99; 10:01 AM

    Misconceptions plague my face
    Pave the way to worse disgrace
    Never before have I felt alone
    Home may be where the heart is
    But it's not where I should go

    On conditions…
    Of this that these those and do it now!
    Too many things at once
    And when the blackjack isn't cracking
    It makes me their slave

    "Never again!" I yell
    my bondage may be broken
    butt the shrapnel binds me
    not to their orders to do their will
    but my orders to have them grilled
    maybe it will be slow and painful
    just as long as they are quiet

    and those be my conditions
    A hypocrite to end the hipocracy
    An autocrat to end the aristocracy
    They say it takes one to know one
    And to know is to realize
    When something is too much for something else
    And something will end its ways
    Returning it all to a normal day


    9/21/99; 7:13 AM

    It would be too much for anyone
    Even me but it's what I bear
    The mark of the dead
    A red slash for the sad
    All for the blood I drew

    I didn't mean to do it
    I didn't kill the man
    I just dropped the gun
    I am so sorry
    For all the pain I've caused

    Innocent ones
    Are still happy till circumstance
    Says that they aren't who they are
    But until the time of his life's freedom
    A black shroud sheathes the sky

    Daytime's light is bright
    But it can't make it through the walls
    And my eyes are blind
    My mind can't wait for freedom
    But I'm chained away
    And forgetting the freedom outside

    Common Man

    9/23/99; 8:17 AM

    The sky, a blue bedspread over my eyes
    And the clouds, the paths to my dreams
    But I roll restlessly in bed
    Wondering if anyone will find me

    They keep me from the sight
    I shouldn't know what to do
    For they say I have nothing in common
    With the common man

    He walks the streets at a ready steady pace
    I either mope merrily
    Or travel wrongly with glee
    I have no general direction
    The signs were taken from the streets
    So while I wander aimlessly through life
    Common man remembered to keep a map

    Where I wandered was woeful
    I fell into sewers
    I tripped over twigs
    I ventured through the wrong side of town
    Maybe anyhow
    Do I really know where I am?

    While once sitting huddled on a street corner
    Common man crossed my path
    But quickly hurried off
    I stank of rank sewage
    Glaring discourteously in the man's direction
    And that was too much for him to bear

    Life After Death

    9/23/99; 9:55 AM

    the mist fall sheepishly outside
    they wish to avoid the grave
    they hope that the air will suck them in
    but the ground is more wanting
    And takes them first

    They can't avoid the grave
    No one can
    I believe my condemnation comes soon
    For as I think of all the facts of life
    I'm starring at the graveyard across the street

    Skeletons, odd, old, and moldy
    All types are allowed there
    Just pay you $150 for a plot of land
    And you can join them in eternal sleep
    At the hangout of the dead

    Sure, some have huge tombs
    Some have smaller ones
    But does the size of it really matter?
    Do you live your life to get a big rock on your head,
    And sleep with a giant stone crushing your brain?
    That's not my lot in life


    9/27/99; 7:15 AM

    I paint a picture
    Of what I can't see
    Not of what the trees block
    The sky would be too easy

    My aspiration
    Should I choose to accept it
    Is to paint with my power within
    And to decipher what others hold in
    Their ideas they keep from the light

    I could paint a beast or two
    Creatures of fantasy are fun
    But such games don't belong in art

    I see where they don't see
    And I see where they keep me
    I could beat them into submission
    But I'll beat them with my brush

    Then they may see what they do
    Maybe they'll stop
    But probably not
    They won't know the sight before them
    They will see it with their eyes
    But be blind with their mind
    Then I will have to paint again


    9/27/99; 5:02 PM

    It lays on the ground
    Alone in solitude
    Thumping, beating
    It shows signs of life
    But nothing is coming out

    If things can't get much better
    Than they'll probably get worse
    The same is true in all walks of life
    Even for the wayward souls

    They come and go as they will it
    But never as they please
    Whisping through the windows
    Leaving by the back door
    Their only call for attention
    Is to never be seen at all

    It still lays on the ground
    No one pays attention
    It's thumps are too quiet
    And no one knows it's there

    But nothing is coming out
    Nothing of worth
    Not even the truth

    Spelling List

    9/28/99; 8:49 AM

    The glass vase fell gracefully from the sky
    And fell ruthlessly to the floor
    It scattered into 50 different directions
    It will scatter into 50 more

    And will there be a janitor to sweep it up,
    Or will some child have to cut his hand?
    And rather than being consoled by his mother
    He gets bitched at by his dad

    What a bad day the boy had
    It wasn't his fault someone wasn't doing his job
    Be it the janitor's lack of cleaning
    Or his dad's lack of care
    He didn't even take the boy to the doctor
    "Such stupidity shouldn't be helped by one of those" he said

    With that he pulled off his belt
    One belt, five lashings, bare bleeding butt
    Injury to injury
    And injustice included in this package
    It's one thing not to care
    But another entirely to impose one's will

    So the boy laid down
    Whimpering, wearing his blood stained jeans
    But the pain was nothing in comparison
    To the horror his dad brought to him
    Calling the boy a tiny disgrace


    10/2/99; 3:37 PM

    It shines brightly in the sky
    Sets twice
    Rises once
    Then packs it's bags and goes home

    Its drive is it's youth
    And it would go farther if it could
    Even if all others said no

    It would show the world how to see
    It would show the world what it could be
    If only it let itself go
    Then it would finally grow

    And there was never a time
    When it always doubted its mind
    Which direction it should to take
    To uphold goodness' grace
    Or rather, to do what they tell it

    It's now ready and waiting
    Burrowed deep within its homeland
    Only there does it feel safe
    But where sanctuary brings sanctity
    It also breeds ignorance
    So it must be well fed
    Then, it will finally grow


    10/3/99; 9:42 PM

    I'm not as free as I used to be
    The realism's ringing through my mind
    And though the time I spent was nice
    I didn't spend it to its fullest
    But hindsight tells me that it was great
    And now it's gone

    Left forever, the time has flown by
    And if there was another time
    Where the word ever could mean something
    I would grip it to it's last
    But not squeeze the life from it
    Only give it a gentle smile
    But the time has past

    They blink, I blink back
    We stare at each other
    One is sad
    And that makes the other cry
    Sure, he may cry all the time
    But loneliness is not a drug to like
    Much less to have

    Sure, I could jump from train to train
    Play that game
    Everything would be okay in the end
    But, I walked away

    Calm, and in a dreary state of disregard
    For my own regards
    The ones of others be too important to me
    But being selfless and kind
    Can only bring a footprint on your forehead
    In this tragic world
    It's a scar everyone bears

    Walk from those train tracks
    And back to your cottage nestled on the hill
    Solitary amongst the trees
    Some would say, anyway
    But can you discern the wood trim in the winter
    Where everything is cold and bare
    Up there, amongst the deadness of the world
    Where I am…

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    All writings are copyright of Chris Ward 1998-1999