Kids Enjoying Alcohol
The Streets of London
3/16/99; 11:11 AM
It was the day before
The day I hope
Would have never come.
I walked through a street
That rang with the sounds
Of people being beaten and maimed.
A small beggar was huddled in a heap
Next to the street
Like a pile of rags.
The man in front of me
Had passed him by
Laughing at his plight,
So I gave him two fives.
And even though I lost good money
Emptying my wallet to a beggar,
I know my charity will one day be rewarded.
Urburbia
3/23/99; 12:14 PM
Last Sunday on a nunny March morning
I was wondering around the house
And I saw a plane soaring
It was loud
And the engine was on fire
It did burn a bright light in the sky
And it fell with a crash
In a little sparkly gleam
As it fell from the sky
And into a tree
The little squirlls ran away
And the bond was broken
The birds lost their home
Amongst all the laughter
And even though it was just a movie
With some special special effects
It still is a tragedy
That is filled with death
So next time you choose to move listen
Before someone takes advantage
And beats you into submission
And so you run away from all these things
You can try all you like
But will you ever listen?
The Top of the Bottom of the Barrel
3/25/99; 2:13 PM
More worry than trouble
I don't like it a lot
When I tried to defy
However much was a lot
I didn't think too soon
And I missed my shot
So I leave the counter
And I chug another shot
The glass was empty
So I got one again
My tab was 550
But I needed more gin
I got more
And I hit the cellar
Maybe more, maybe less
My life is distress
And so I left the kitchen
And hit the wine chest
I drank a little more
All was quite blurry
I tripped down the stairs
It was the end of this story
I dreamt a little more
After I puked on the floor
So I lost money
And I almost missed the…
Aftershock
3/25/99; 3:26 PM
I am feeling so alone
More alone than you could know
And all I want to do is talk
Most people run away
With a cold shoulder if you please
Is it the glare in my eye that scares them,
Or is it just this harsh reality?
Nobody listens…
They all just want you
They want to take advantage
Of your little mind
They could care less for the person inside
Some people just laugh it off
But if I scream in a large room
More people will run away
Sure, they'll talk about it
"Oh, did you hear that madman in the hall?"
"Yes I knew him all along,
he's such a dork."
I know you don't want another one
Just run off with your friends
Go have some fun
I'll just stay for a while and cry,
"I hate you! I hate you all!"
A Little Reminder
3/25/99; 10:01 PM
While I am low and sad and blue
I sit alone and sigh and think of you
And how you only show me hate
And how you only taunt my fate
Wanting to destroy my life
Wishing to end your pain and strife
Desiring only for my demise
Contented least with your disguise
Yet all I can do is laugh at you
Suddenly you'll see a world, surprising and new
Then you'll look and see that I am gone
Like a child's dream, forgotten yet long
For remembering me, I could only thank you twice
That, then we could try to be nice
Ocean
3/29/99; 1:35 PM
The sea is tranquil
It's peacful, uneven, and unending
It's cold in the day
Yet warm at night
It is really rather odd
The sands where people rest their feet
They go well under the sea
And even if you can't see them
They are still there
And the little fish
That fill the plate
They are farther out
Some swim in the sea
Others jump
While others keep the sand
The sea is odd indeed
Much like our shallow home
It's a large pile of water
All trapped in a hole
Or are we just on mountains?
Are we just eye level with the sea?
And as the waves cross the shallows
I know it can not be
Outside the Wall
3/29/99; 1:43 PM
My eyes are big
But they're a little dusty
Or so says the mirror
I look pathetic and minute
And can only try to look beter
When I look in the mirror
I see a calm spring rain
Ensued by showers with lightning
Wetting a majestic little crane
It has been humbled
It used to spread its wings
Trying to fly away
A soft rain fell
And it was struck by lightning
Just as the mirror would saw
How can you learn about somehting
By looking at yourself
With your eyes wide open
If your mind is wide shut?
So tomorrow won't be the same
My reflection, a little changed
The mirror will say that I am lame
Again, just like yesterday
So what? I still have no where to stay
Dusk
4/12/99; 2:26 PM
It's time to be gone
The crow's egg has finally hatched
A blackened nativity
Fears and worries unleashed
There is no going back
The sun had set
The moon never rised
Another man's troubles
Had led to demise
The grass wilted
And the flowers have yellowed
The skies are empty
Except for the swallows
A quick putrid rain
That was without lightning
The same crow fluttered it's wings
It flew away, silently
It was searching for the star of morning
The book would close
But the pages were trapped
In a dw of this dreamy dusk
The small gathering of swallows had dissapeared
Then I knew I was in a fragile world
And a world that couldn't trust
Kidnapping
4/12/99; 8:32 PM
Barely had I woken up when he barged in
Next I was dragged out the door
A fire was blazing in my mind
Caught in a bind, but perfectly dry
So I did whatever bidding he gave
Persecuted as I was possessed
Crying out in a shocking misnomer
"You're that lady in the black ballroom dress!"
Smacked was I in the head, then the thigh
And surely I deserved it
For this was no bearded lady at all
Just a brawny man from the slums
He wanted half my Celine Dion collection
I could've given it all to him there
To his despair I owned none such crap
In a chair he dropped me with rudeness hard to bear
The bummed out bum pulled out a bag
Only whisky did it contain
But Irish Brandy warms the soul
Being detained, I could not get the slightest sip
So he chugged it all right there
I was very mad at the greedy man
He had left my throat unclean
Following his footsteps I forced my foot
Right into his tiny spleen
He coughed up all his liquor
At this he was extremely ticked
In drunken rage of driveling dissension
He charged straight through the window
I freed myself from this unfriendly prison
Pacing back to my home place
So I left the drunk to sop the streets with drool
As I passed him, my foot met his face
Clouds with Lining
4/14/99; 7:07 AM
The shutters guarded the gateway
They were the testament to my testimony
All they did was add to my problems
Ones that hadn't been solved
It was almost like another puzzle piece
That had been hammered in to fit
But with the small stains where I used to sit
Continuing to stare in my direction
They wouldn't stop leaving me alone
In the small cracks I could peek
And see lavender skies
My eyes were blinded by dim colors
But I see purple clouds on the horizon
The sun hasn't quite risen
But there will be rain today
All of the little children will go in and complain
Their mommies and daddies may listen
Maybe they'll understand
That their child's dreams are fading
As the ocean takes the sand
But the morning has progressed
The sky is now a little bluer
Truer still that parents should listen
Or their children will forget them
Underneath Brick Buildings
4/15/99; 10:04 PM
The night has past
Like a cloud hitting a wall
It must veer south
After traveling so far
There were delusions of course
Of sparrows fighting in air
Of wolves prowling their lair
Of troubles trying to snare you
It's a bear trap
Disguised as the Jaws of Life
It sparkles as I walk near it
Illusions, all of them
They were only mental
I am fully awake now
Nothing to stare at me
But bleak brick walls
And nothing glittering like before
My only comfort is incessant tapping
Of a lonely man trying to connect
He has failed
I don't understand him one bit
Alas, my day is a deluge of dismay
But at least I have a friend
Unknown
4/16/99; 7:28 AM
Lowly holes scatter the ground
But they aren't gopher burrows
Many men have died
And they shall be buried
So the gravedigger can collect his wages
His is a thankless job
He just digs neat square holes
Pits pretty enough to be buried in
Even if fortunes were bleak
And after the day is done
He worries about what could've happened
To the poor little man dropped in the hole
Everyone was crying
He didn't know why
He had no family to take care of
So he goes home after the day
But before, he puts daisies on the grave
He missed this man
The personification of gravedigger's futility
He was walking home
Out of the fog of the cemetery
The sun beamed in him
He only felt warmer
And not the least bit better
Untitled
4/20/99; 7:32 AM
Trapped in a building with walls so high
So high that they touch the sky
And the sky surrounds me all around
I just want those walls to hit the ground
In this container I am detained
Detained in a horrible way
They flogged me on the side
Kicked me and wasted me high
They beat me to detainment
Now I sleep restlessly
Stewing in my cell
Wanting to go home
Watching rat races is my entertainment
The same one always wins
If I could be so strong
I would be out of here
But stale bread with stale cheese
Is my favorite meal
But only because it's my only meal
Life can be as simple as I make it
But I've made it just as tough
I like living the rough road
But now I wonder why I liked it
It has led me to nowhere
Except for the worst of free lodging
Line of Sight
4/20/99; 1:46 PM
Sitting in a chair
What is there to be seen?
You could watch TV
Listen to the radio
But it's hard to see sound
And squinting can get painful
Reading a book can teach you something
But just staring at the words
Can make you dizzy
When people get bored
They don't know what to do
They just stopped the walk they've been living through
While on a walk
What is there to be seen?
A skinny little man with a camera for TV?
Not quite that much
Unless you're near a riot
You're more likely to see a bird
Then to cause a structure fire
So hopping puddles and skipping rocks
Aren't the best ways to learn about yourself
But if you think and you listen
You will become someone else
Sure, people will think you're crazy
But you can still be proud of the life you're living
Boggy Fanfare and Don't You Forget It
4/26/99; 10:55 PM
The reeds of the marsh whipped in the wind
And the willows whispered in the breeze
A cool summer moon is upon us
A grayless twinkling sky
And it is well before morning
Everything is so bright though
Like Fat Tuesday on the Bayou
The fireflies are twinkling near the ground
While the stars shimmer in the sky
Dawn is a long thought past me
But why should this night have to end?
My clothes are soaked
Sopped with boggy soil
What is there to care though
I don't want to go in
I was alone by myself yesterday
Today was somewhat the same
But someone has joined me now
Someone very near and dear
And I can play those games
Amongst the reeds and willows
In this bog so dear
How nice it is to mention
That dusk was quite swell too
Many were there with me
And no one wanted to go in
Just a fun loving bunch they were
Just a barrel of monkeys in the peanut gallery
Not quite the crowd I hang out with
But that's something I can forget
I don't care what the people say
But meeting people is a good thing to do
Be them good, bad, boring or diverse
The choice is up to you
But I divulged in my decision
Chose many from the different selections
For white walls are boring
With white sheets to match
So I decided why not have a happy gathering
In a place like a marsh
A few lingered; not caring to go home
They were spinning down the spiral
That threw me in the hole
Maybe I've opened their eyes
To what fun joy can be
But if I've helped them survive a night
In the struggle of life
Then that's good enough for me
Chalk Outlines
4/28/99; 11:44 AM
The world's a little darker
Everything a little grayer
Tinted just the way he wants it
He's losing ground five times faster
Breaking glass
Trying to attain mastership
Owning what he couldn't get
He was a poor boy
Dirt poor in fact
His tattered clothes ripped apart
And his jeans in shambles
His hair a mess
Clogged with mud
That he had earned working
He worked outside
Getting down to pray for hope
He only got whipped when he did this
The overseer wanted him back
Not to fall in the mud
Nor crawl on the floor
The Caveman thrust his middle finger in response
It was promptly severed
Nine lives to seven
And they were withering away
It was slipping further
He bowed his head and continued
No matter how deranged he was
He knew tomorrow
Wouldn't be yesterday again
But only more lonely torture
Disturbanced
5/4/99; 10:06 PM
Writing by moonlight
Is not like by candle light
But it will have to suffice
My mind is a sift
That has confused itself for an hourglass
And the grains of sand are falling
They slither merrily down the tube
And into not-so-neat piles
He sweeps and we do it again
I'm in the dustbin all the same
Residing as comfortably as the last
Until I'm dumped into water
The water oozes down my back
It wiggles in my fingers
But it is so very cold
And I'm going in circles
Pushed by some higher power
That lets me control destiny
How ironic then that everything isn't
I help others get it right
While I applaud and groan
Someday, some way, I may reach the peak
And breathe the cold thin air
The moon is waning
The candlewick runs out
So too must I retire
Last Impression
5/5/99; 1:37 PM
Fire and war sweep over the land
As the blood comes rushing from my hands
And they both say goodbye
A whole fanfare with a thousand white doves
And it only left me wondering
I didn't think these people liked them that much
But all they did was keep shouting
They blow their noses
They wept their tears
And they kissed their final good-byes
This same attachment
Was leeching to their souls
And they couldn't live without it
I was just another faceless face in the crowd
But I wasn't jumping up and down
Sure I respect the departed
The hands of detachment plucked my soul
But my note was more full
Than the sour ones of those who shout goodbye
Be as quiet as you want
If you want to be heard at all
With a little patience and luck
Things will get better
And you won't have to shout
The Ladder
5/6/99; 12:52 PM
More is what we need
More money, more life, more things
Perfection is the pinnacle
Of a ladder that we're all climbing
But there isn't space for us all
It used to be easy to climb
When we were all alone
But now this space is crowded
We all wanted to reach the top
So we built things
It started with the wheel
Then the plow
And as soon as things got better
We built better things
More like more effective things
Like knives and scythes and swords
Then later on we made guns
Then we went to war
The ladder was crowded
Even though more and more people fell off
And no one will reach the pinnacle
For we forgot where it was
Ripped
5/7/99; 7:21 AM
Laid out on the ground
Looking at the clouds above
I saw peace
In a time long ago
But now there is nothing there left to be
Have you ever broken windows?
Did the bricks fly hard?
Did you do it, just to hear the crash?
Or do you want a hard day to be long?
Give me a pen
I'll give you ink scribblings
But give me a dream
And I'll give you a story
But go ahead and close up
Don't listen and don't care
You, the insensitive friend
Will I ever see you the same again?
Walk off with you new friends
Try to make me yours
We used to be good together
But I'm no convenient store
I'm losing my mind
And losing my life
This reminds me of seventh grade
Everyone looked to stop and laugh
They might not have wanted me around
But they sure had fun when I was
I've never been so scotted or scolded
In the way that I was today
Manipulation is all around the town
Some kind of mess is bringing me down
It isn't even my mess
But they take it out on me
I'm just the whip any ways
Mine
5/25/99; 3:56 PM
Speckled all over they were
Hunting like starved predators
If they weren't chasing me before
They most certainly are now
God, why did I have to start to run?
Their sweat ran in black beads
As it slithered slowly to the ground
Their teeth were showing
Hoping only to pierce my bones
They were sharp and menacing
But their purpose was what worried me
I darted down the lands they infested
Running from my most personal of demons
They jumped at me as soon as I opened the door
For a moment I was open and willing
In the meantime, I was also rash
An escape appeared where I needed none
For some reason I took it
They rushed out, all of the new breeds
They chased me, followed me
They couldn't leave me alone nor go away
The night sky would be bright with starts
If it wasn't enshrouded in clouds
Their teeth were very sharp
Kids Enjoying Alcohol
6/5/99; 11:29 PM
At first they were a little giggly
Then they bumbled around
And because their parents can't watch them
They'll drink themselves out of town
Their friends have gathered
Into a foreign country
Unlike the brave state of America
Where drinking is a sin
These innocent little teenagers
Only want to bust out the gin
They think they're cool but they're stupid
Or that's just the way they seem
They dreamt all their lives
Of getting drunk out of sight
But now they've got to pee
So bumble off to the bathroom!
Watch as they all stare at you
You may trip on your shoe
Or worse, embarrass yourself
You can call for a friend
But you're drunkenness has no help
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All writings are copyright of Chris Ward 1998-1999