The Writing Block

The Pen is mightier than the sword, for while the sword can make someone fall with a single swipe, a pen can touch someone with a single stroke

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  • The Beginning
  • Peace Amongt Times of Trouble
  • Hearth
  • Dusty Tome
  • John Seagull Goes Home
  • Looking Inward
  • The Why Plague
  • Paperwork
  • Perfection
  • Forgiven Forgot
  • Untitled
  • Just Another Day
  • Time
  • Solitary Confinement
  • Seasons
  • Two Words
  • Obnicient
  • Infatuation
  • Shine on Winter
  • Scatter
  • Food Chain
  • Wrong Way
  • Today in Class

    The Beginning

    On many days ago
    I'd watch the nights run by
    Through loud wrecks
    or TV sets
    I only sat benign

    Until one day I realized today was today
    and that tomorrow had never come
    I sit waiting, glancing
    seeing the beginning lying lame

    It cried "Oh sir, please help,
    I have truley run astray
    I left you there 8 months ago
    and agreed to meet this day"

    "With whom you meet?" I questioned
    Taking him as the devil's lies
    For would somthing so weak
    Somthing I kept in my pocket
    Be mocking me in it's demise

    Or Was it by my divice that led me here?
    For through lazyness I met peace
    In hope I check my pockets
    Then I look near
    Only then through my incompetence
    Had the beginning left me here

    Peace Amongst Times of Trouble

    5/13/99; 9:35PM

    Why is it
    That we must always seek the past
    For futures told
    More like fool's gold
    But some pasts arn't even of that worth

    Like times of trouble
    Than I once suffered
    But no things are ever that bad

    So I went to a land
    A place far away
    Though troubles linger
    I become enlightened and free
    For this place I had yearned to go
    Much better than this land of gold
    At last, a place I'm not known

    For the only good time that year
    Good fortune struck
    I made new friends
    Lost new foes
    And found a place for me
    Of course in a week's notice
    I learned it cannot be

    A place I must have left
    A place I yearn once more
    So may I once again dwell
    On times of trouble no more

    Hearth

    5/14/98; 12:47 PM

    The hearth glows
    It always has
    It always will
    But never have I watched it
    Many times I've heard it
    Many more it's glow
    Those sweeping colors of crimson
    Tinted with a little gold

    Small cakes cook within
    Soon to be turned to swords
    Liquid rocks boil within
    Soon for the waste of war

    Never have I thought a sight so beautiful
    Could be turned into somthing so cold
    A light, so peaceful
    Be turned to the waste of war

    But such is the hearth
    And it shall soon die

    Dusty Tome

    7/26/98; 12:05 AM

    A dark menacing book
    Lying on the table
    So fearsome the shadows run away
    I dare not read it
    I dare not see it
    For within my darkest secrets lay
    I dare not touch it
    I dare not smell it
    In the case that I slip
    And drop it on the floor

    Many a child have querried
    Of that befuddled tome on the table
    Stupid children they are to ask
    So I slap their wrist
    And implore them to go home

    But a curious child crept past my eyes
    And say beside the book
    I turn, too late, to see him
    I scream and rant and taunt and squeel
    as I beg him not to look

    Poor child he was
    Still deaf, like me
    He opened the book
    Eyes prying to see dark secrets

    But disapointed was he
    And ashamed was me
    For the book was empty

    John Seagull Goes Home

    7/26/98; 12:22 AM

    I am the wisest of wise
    I am the boldest of bold
    And the most traveled of all
    For most seagulls canít migrate to heaven
    Or any other good place for that matter

    Yes, thatís right, Iíve been to heaven
    I have been taught all the secrets
    From telepathy to perfect flight
    From metamorphosis to enhanced sight
    And now, I will do the kindest thing of all
    I shall write a book
    How to be a Perfect Seagull
    And everyone will want it

    Revisit you loved ones
    Regain your sight
    Loose lots of weight
    Relive that night
    Begin again
    Restart again
    Keep dreams in your head
    Stay from the land of the dead

    I know people will get mad
    These are secrets
    That like many
    No one should have
    Doesnít matter to me though
    Iím going to be rich!

    Looking Inward

    9/29/98; 5:05 PM

    I am sitting shivering
    On a cold winter night
    The clouds sparse
    The night gloomy
    I know things will never be right

    Inside they party
    Drinking all their wine
    Good friends
    Good foes
    Gathered Ďround the table to dine
    While having merry old time

    They knew me once
    They knew me well
    But now all is forgotten
    Do they dislike me?
    I havenít the foggiest
    For you canít hate what you donít know

    Now I sit on a curb
    On a mournful snowless night
    The door opens
    And the patrons walk out
    Those who were friends of mine
    That is until they found something better
    And quickly left me behind

    The Why Plague

    9/29/98; 5:21 PM

    Light seeped through the trees
    Revealing the lifeless much below
    Why they asked
    In a dream in a dream
    Best to shrug and not know

    People ask too many questions
    For this Iím fairly sure
    Why then must they all be directed towards me?
    I donít know everything
    Though many people think I must
    They beat and weather my mind
    Like a mountain becoming dust

    I wish it was so slow
    My mind begins to tear
    Back and forth and to and fro
    Like a madmanís scissors
    Cutting through the air

    Scrutiny follows me
    Wherever I go
    So bad that I question myself
    Should muck so lifeless
    Appear in my dreams
    Could this be a sign?
    Honestly, Iíd rather not know

    Paperwork

    10/26/98; 7:03 AM

    Withering thoughts besiege me
    Never have I lost
    But while striving for success
    I never realized the cost

    Now that I am great
    Life has become a bore
    Just sitting at my desk
    Skimming forgotten lore

    I have retired myself
    From receiving new delight
    Just for lower hours
    And this higher paying plight

    Only now do I see it
    Only now will I try
    To leave this boring job
    Then really try to fly

    Perfection

    11/4/98; 5:38 PM

    Wishful thinking
    Loosing myself in my distress
    Constant tinkering
    Never did I think it best
    To hold that thought
    Those kind that persist
    Just for another nightís rest

    Beautiful people
    Life is nothing more than jest
    Pretty making
    With followers leading two abreast
    Days and nights of wondering
    Of where they really went wrong
    As if happiness was found in a throng

    Next the sky a morning gray
    The sun oh what a sight
    Raining answers
    From those who think they got it right

    But canít they see
    Is wishful thinking their only guest?
    Or is it just a clotted mind
    Like the ones they call the rest

    Forgiven Forgot

    ??/??/98; ?:?? ?M

    Needy thing and never think
    For what we could have done
    Anyone couldíve wished
    For what nobody had done

    Please, never no
    Never havenít
    For these wishes we only try
    Memories of poor old souls
    Only make us cry

    For when everybody forgets somebody
    And nobody even tried
    He just takes a long walk home
    With his only hope awry
    He never found friendship

    Who is everyone any ways?
    And whatís it all to him
    This forgotten soul
    When someone thought him naught

    Untitled

    11/9/98; 5:28 PM

    To glory do we sail
    Our night of victory will be grand
    And oh, the glee of winning
    And your loveís gentle hand

    Birds flock across the sky
    Hoisting their hopes and dreams
    But now with grand schemes
    They will be flying with you and me

    Tomorrowís sunrise will come
    But what does it hold?
    A merry thought of days past
    Like pure glistening gold?

    But what of the pains that brought you here
    Will anyone really care
    For the remains of this horrible strife
    May simply be too much to bear

    Oh forget it all, itís over now
    Let the pain go away
    For the night will be full or merry making
    On this celebration day

    Something so Worldly

    11/9/98; 5:37 PM

    Not to the beggars
    Not to the homeless
    But never all to me
    For something so worldly
    Was never meant to be

    Another time
    Maybe now
    But definantly not tomorrow
    For something so worldly
    Could only bring me sorrow

    Never again
    Never the less
    For what is and what should never be
    For something so worldly
    Has only brought more pain than glee

    Maybe nest time
    Probably soon
    Will I be changed again
    For something so worldly
    Would only benefit my kin

    Writing Mockery

    11/10/98; 10:18 PM

    Today I saw it
    What a beautiful sight
    This breath taking view
    Brought my joy to light

    Sure, it was small
    Insignificant to some
    But I picked up my pen
    And let my thoughts come

    You may think Iím crazy
    Most assuredly I am
    What is there to say though
    Iím just a man

    So I started to write
    Six senses joining
    But as I got farther along
    My eyes stopped glowing

    Blast! Itís writerís block
    Coming back to haunt me
    I was feeling distressed with disgust
    Being caught on one knee

    So I got up and looked
    But all the images were lost
    Cursed be this disease
    Like winterís final frost

    What did I do?
    I got bored of course
    So I went to my friendís house
    And we went riding a horse

    Oh friend, thank you
    For getting me out of this funk
    For a friend in need is a friend indeed
    And this could have really stunk

    But tomorrow is a new day
    What road shall I take
    Of this Iím not sure
    It canít be easy and straight

    Oh, the trials of life
    What would I do without them
    I think Iíll sit and write a spell
    And try to forget about them

    Just Another Day

    11/18/98; 6:15 PM

    Me?
    What is wrong with me?
    NoÖ
    What is wrong with you?
    My feelings bundled
    So long some how
    Now I truly can't stand them

    And another thing
    You lead a perfect life
    You say so any way
    To that absolutely not!
    I can only tell you
    Perfection is for naught
    Only better can be
    What good fortune brought

    I long to belong
    Can you hear me?
    Can they hear me?
    Most assuredly no
    There are these people
    Many who call me friends
    Yet I pass them in the halls
    Maybe on a stroll
    And 99% of them don't fringe

    Not even a polite hello, a howdy doody
    Nothing of the sort
    Just an ice cold stare
    Trying to look away
    Like there is some obscene parasite
    That they think I bear

    They befriend me
    Supposedly so any way
    Why? If they don't befriend me
    They can't each other
    Most certainly this is so
    But time passes
    And off they go
    While a loud voice yells
    On with the show

    Friends! Who are they?
    What are they?
    Does anyone really care?
    I doÖyes, little old me
    Sitting antisocially in the corner
    Is it by my choice, sometimes yes
    For how dumb witted I am
    Other times I stand in the crowd
    Trying to converse
    Then no one seems to care

    Are they really my friends?
    No, but it is nice to think so
    They plunder and pillage
    Rape my soul
    I must say
    They are relatively cold
    Doing all the actions I despise
    Man, do I keep bad company
    But only a boy is I
    For I lack the opportunity

    You over there I call to him
    Only "shut up" does he reply
    Even an instinctive yap as such
    Can bring one to their demise
    Oh what it is to be cool
    Oh to be smart, oh to be loved
    Please forget the misunderstood
    Such novel ideas aren't welcome
    This day and age
    Oh what it is to be trendy

    Do I have true friends, yes
    Do I treat them as such, no
    It is merely a game
    We talk and b.s. and get along
    But never do we relate

    Why do we strut our obligations
    Throw it out the second story window?
    We talk and we talk
    We try to relate
    Yet, when they need me most
    I'm always late
    But they tend to keep me
    In the same state

    You, the reader
    Of this writing you won't take
    I know you won't
    You could care less
    Go on! Get a clean slate
    Nothing of the sort for me
    Writing is my therapy
    I know you're rolling on the floor
    Laughing at me, running for the door

    Fine, leave me
    I'll talk to the wall
    Such a crazy fool I am
    Why should you care?
    Don't you have your own life
    My pain is more than you could bear
    Leave, go, I don't want you here

    My pain is self-enduced
    I can only criticize
    But I hate it when people do the same
    So I only criticize myself
    It only hurts all the more
    If it is someone else's lies
    People who taunt, rant
    And get away with it
    Do not deserve respect
    Life can be defined in this term
    "How low can you go?"
    Sometimes any way
    But it only works for others

    People who need never got
    What people who want have
    But to need is to want
    And to want is to have
    I must say
    This situation is rather sad

    There I go again
    Shortchanging myself
    If only for a moment
    Even though I humble myself
    Others will only condone it
    Maybe condemn it
    Maybe not, I don't really care
    Neither do they of course
    They never care to share

    Just another day
    What good fortune brought?
    I didn't find it
    Just another day
    It only hurt the more
    But I only try to hide it
    Just another day
    You could care less
    Tomorrow, probably the same
    Just another day
    If only for a moment
    Will this pain go away
    Just another day
    Don't you have your own life?
    You'd like it better than mine
    Just another day
    I must say
    I wish things would go my way

    Time

    12/1/98; 11:58 AM

    Time stands still
    Sometimes
    Time heals
    Sometimes
    But it can leave us with regret
    So we search a second sect
    And all our hopes and dreams
    Are laid waste in a wreck

    Time for a friend
    Time for a song
    Time to make merry
    All night long
    Sure, me? Maybe,
    Then again I couldn't stop
    A childhood friend from getting shot

    Oh there's a hole in my soul
    Time left it there
    I beg it be not for naught
    But no one really cared
    No one tried as they might
    To try to make me smile

    But all of this pain
    All the while
    Has left me with time to kill

    Solitary Confinement

    12/3/98; 5:02 PM

    I sit in my thinking spot
    Not thinking, wondering
    Why, if, how, and which
    It doesn't make much difference

    It doesn't make much sense
    For if I could have thought
    About with whom I'd stop
    Then imagination I'd need not

    Could it be? Should it be?
    Would have I brought it?
    But towards here I wondered
    To this frivolous blunder

    Spotted, dashed, and speckled
    Never flickered but wrought
    But I could've, but I didn't
    So I told them to get with it

    That was 4 years ago
    I hated it a lot
    But in order to forget
    I sit in my thinking spot

    Seasons

    12/17/98; 8:40 AM

    A tree
    A good tree
    A dead tree
    That's what this season is
    And even if it were with pines
    This season brings much demise

    Winter the white
    Winter the cold
    Winter the butcher
    How the trees lost their leaves I cannot say
    For I can't go outside and play

    Nary a worry
    Nary a trouble
    Nary a cup of hot cocoa

    If this season is what it was
    Then I'm in quite some trouble

    If you think
    If you thought
    If you shot a mongoose
    You may have to wait many a day
    For 'tis not quite the season

    Two Words

    12/17/98; 8:47 AM

    Sleeping cat
    Worrying cat
    Happy cat
    Sad cat
    Playful cat
    Biting cat
    Scratching cat
    Annoying cat
    Cute cat
    Adorable cat
    Frisky cat
    Jubilant cat
    Innocent cat
    Joyful cat
    Thankful cat
    Mad cat
    Crazy cat
    Suicidal cat
    Sleepy cat
    Rabid cat
    Jumping cat
    Territorial cat
    Bellowing cat
    Singing cat
    Eating cat
    Sleeping cat

    Obnicient

    12/18/98; 7:29 AM

    Yesterday's troubles were once today's
    Tomorrow's worries could be worse
    But worry not tomorrow
    Nor about your mistakes from yesterday
    Just concern
    With the fun you'll have today

    I couldn't have thought
    That you didn't want
    Any kind of special thought
    Nor any consideration
    For anything that you had done
    To make you the one
    The sought after

    Of course it doesn't help
    That you remain obnicient
    Listening and knowing what everyone has to say
    And make short comments after
    You sat when you tried to converse
    You stood when you tried to listen
    But you never really cared
    When things started to hasten

    You live in the past too much
    Preparing for the future too little
    So you're still confused
    Weather today is tomorrow

    Infatuation

    1/6/99; 7:00 AM

    Of course you felt it
    You said you didn't
    You deny what must have happened
    You still will have to worry
    About what's with it

    Or maybe not
    You're quite a liar
    You're great at shredding books
    Or throwing them on a fire

    So you work for the government now
    What a surprise
    To work for a monstrocity
    You have to lie

    You must bicker
    Over the slightest things
    As long as you're reelected
    You'll go do great things

    You'll impeach presidents
    You'll controll the world
    One of high diplomacy
    What a bore, what a bore

    Shine on Winter

    1/6/99; 12:04 PM

    A cold table
    Sitting on a stone
    Gleaming in the sunlight
    But chilling to the bone

    I have no desire
    To trouble with this chill
    I'd rather do something else
    Like drinking my fill

    It's very lovly
    To see ice cicles in the sun
    To see the ground graced with frost
    Even though I'd prefer none

    A wonderful thought
    To beg for the sun
    To unfreeze the chilled
    After the day is done

    Do you ask for what
    A frost-bite delight
    Three rooms down the hall mister
    We don't want you in our sight

    Scatter

    1/7/99; 7:20 AM

    Another little day
    During a long night
    A mountain fell
    And there was lots of light
    Everything was nice and toasy warm
    Unfortunantly I felt a pain
    Sort of like a thorn

    Tell me now winds
    From which direction did this come?
    There was just a little rain
    Blocking out the sun
    So I traveled the way
    The winds did tell me
    To bad I met a beast
    That may have ended this story

    What a beast it was
    The fiend of indecision
    There was a fork in the road
    And I was late for dinner
    I met an always lying man
    He lead me to a river
    So now I'm deading home again
    Or just in the wind's direction

    Food Chain

    1/7/99; ?:?? ?M

    So we couldn't have worried much more
    We had an army chasing us
    A maelstrom of dogs
    Chasing after cats
    That were chasing after rats
    Who were chasing the chickens
    That were chasing after us
    What a predicament indeed

    So we hopped over logs
    Jumped through fiddle sticks
    And had as much fun as we could
    We never knew if we would
    But we did
    Even if we lost five from our ranks

    The chickens caught the dogs
    After the dogs caught the cats
    When the cats caught the rats
    Who had just mauled a billy-goat

    Our men fell in a ditch
    We hid in a tree
    Those men in a ditch were real dumb
    They were eaten by the flies
    Who was eaten by a rabbit
    That ate the chickens

    Wrong Way

    1/8/99; 10:11 AM

    If I thought I could have made it
    But I didn't want to break it down
    I would have tore it down
    Stomped it down with my right foot

    Of course you'd try to build it again
    Built it all up without a friend
    But that's just the wrong way
    You need help
    A helping hand
    A nice friend
    To open a can of Spam
    Of course you'd try to take off her shirt
    I don't know what it's worth
    But I know you don't have friends any ways

    I know what you want
    Just 5 pretty girls in your bed at once
    But you don't have that money you horny fuck
    You're fucked in the head, just stuck in the head
    You're just not worried about it

    Now I know you're a little lonely
    I know those books can't be your only way of life
    But you don't want to change it
    You are sorely content
    To just resent the establishment
    You just wish they'd all go away

    I know you'll be the same tomorrow
    Just pop it open and drink the bottle dry
    And you don't really know why
    You live your life like clockwork
    And work's one thing you don't like to do
    You're just going to be slacker-boy again

    Today in Class

    1/11/99; 12:18 PM

    Tell everyone what you want to tell them
    Maybe then they will go away
    Until then I'll enjoy them
    And have a relatively big party

    Today someone tried to manipulate me
    Into making their decision
    I brought him to indecision
    And maybe misdirection
    I just didn't want him to cloud my vision
    I wouldn't mind what he said
    Not at all
    Only I wish to do it my way
    Not his, that's all

    I told him not to worry, just wait
    He grew rather impatient
    We forgot to relate
    Before I knew it
    He was out the door
    Next thing you know I'm rather bored

    Now I sit and I think
    Not what to do but how to do it
    I was one stop ahead of him anyway
    While that poor guy missed class today

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    All writings are copyright of Chris Ward 1998-1999