Well, one day I had to clean my room, and I found a nice little spiral notebook under my bed. In it was a journal I kept during my High School Success (now known as Freshman Focus) class at Myers Park High freshman year. I flipped through it, and decided to add it to my page because it gives some interesting views to how I was back in the day when I myself was a ďfreshmeatĒ.

What I Miss the Most- ?/?/97

[This is in response to a question about what I miss the most about my days prior to High School]. I donít miss the teachers, the students, the freedoms (hah!), limits, bad nieghborhoods, or mean people from all the other schools. That covers a lot of ground. The thing I do miss though is the elections.

Yes, the only year I was at Lincoln Heights, the sixth grade. It was a lot of fun. The slogan for my campaign was ďI hate taxes, why shouldnít you?Ē Long story, but there was this little city like thing where you would make money, go out to the store, buy stuff, and pay taxes.

Now I got the least nunmber of votes because I was the only boy running for Mayor/President/whatever it means to you.

So ends up I lost and taxes were 24%!!! I never paid them, and still get the benefits. It was fun, and thatís what I miss.

Week 1- 8/25/97

Weel 1 was fun. And it was good.

My usual schedual just wonít work. I do homework, eat, go to bed at 9:00 PM. I also wake up at 5:15 AM, but feel great when I get up.

What I need to keep doing is having fun, and doing work (if there can be a relation to that.) That way I can do good.

My hopes this week is that I can meet more people, and that they are nice. My main goal is to be happy, get unstructered lunch, survive home room, and get my parents to trust that Iím doing my work.

Selfish/UnSelphish- 8/27/97

The most selfish, mean, cruel, evil, angry, bad, horrible, wretched thing Iíve ever seen done was at a party. I will not disclose any names.

So me and three others drove to Lexington, NC for a party. Everyone was having a good time until these people from town came in. There were getting drunk and all (you couldíve gotten stoneed from the amount of Lycol we had to use in one hour). So ends up that the hostest let them stay. They trashed the place, ruined everything so at about 3:00 AM, we left before we could get caught.

The most unselfish thing Iíve ever seen was when I was at Chimney Rock, NC. This little girl was about to fall off of an unfenced area on the trail, but this old woman tugged her back on, but in the process pulling her off. She lost her life to save anotherís.

? - ?/?/97

[I have no clue as to what Iím talking about in this section]I would feel the happiest Iíve ever felt in my life. Then I would crawl to the center, and fall asleep.

The next morning, I would feel even better when I saw the view on the cloudless day. It wouuld be great. I would start a small fire to signal that Iíd be up there, but heck, I wouldnít go down for a while. My heart would be racing, I wouldnít be hungry, and I really wish I had brought a camera[I guess this was about climbing Mt. Everest]

? - 9/3/97

My mind gets. Iím where your going. Iím prepared. And Iíll tell you what, when Iím happy, Iím set.

Always some seldomÖ

? - 9/5/97

I am very proud of my family. They are a long line of worriers, and priets and bards and stuff like that. My family goes back for 34 generations [that was a number I made up off the top of my head]

My parents have taught me good from bad, and about why we should keep with history, to have pride in yourself and for your family.

LIVE LIFE! - 9/9/97

If you donít try, you will most certainly fail, and you may never get anther chance again. Yet when you do try, it may lead to failure, but youíll know what to do next time. Then again, it may lead to success.

What Would I Change in my life- 9/15/97

There are hundreds of things I wish I could change about my life and about me. Frankly, the one Iíd like to change the most is my way of thinking. I always think quickly and heavily, which is good, but the good goes quick and the bad goes slow. Also, there are my dreams. I have a serious case of de-ja-vu. About a thrid of my dreams come true, but I can usually tell if they will when I canít controll my actions and when they are lifelike.

However, I donít want to change the pain and suffering Iíve been through and seen for if I hadnít, I would probably not be how I am right now mentally.

? - 9/17/97

Money canít buy love or good fortune, but I can by STUFF!

The one thing I would buy may sound simple, but I would buy my brother a horse with a saddle and a Claymore to go with it. The horse would be a Clydesdale.

He has always wanted a horse and a good Scottish sword, so I would get him one.

? - 9/22/97

ĒIf I had a majik want, I would grant these three wishesÖĒ

Wait, first off, lets get some things straight. I will do exactly what you wish for, and nothing about more wishes.

I will give free choice

If there were three things Iíd like to give most , it would be food to the hungry, where it wouldnít kill them and forever nourish them. For there to be no pollution, from factories on down to cow-pie fumes. I would also wish for everyone to find happiness in abundance in the lives, and not at the expense of others.

Bloom where you are planted? Yeah right! - 9/30/97

[I remember this as one of my first major differences with my 9th grade english class]. I am one of those people who doesnít want to just fall in place. I would much rather search for what I like best. That way, I can feel more satisfied than I will if I just bloomed, got stuck where I was, and stayed there my whole life.

? - 10/2/97

Last year (school year) seems so far away, AND I AM THANKFUL!! There was just so much work and it wasnít fun. Now is so much better than then, and itís a good thing.

? - 10/6/97

Football, what a fun sport, especially when your in gym class and you arenít wearing pads. Let me tell you I was the craziest one on the field, taking the hits and keeping on going.

For most of the time, I was honest, like both the times I was hit so hard by a kid named Brandon Spears that I flipped over and landed on my head. The hit didnít hurt, the flying was fun, but the landing was real hard.

But the time where I hid it was when I had just ran into the endzone, full speed, and the same kid pushed me. I slid about ten feet while in a split. It hurt bad, but I never showed it.

? - 10/10/97

When people say bad things to me, I usually donít like it, or I deserve it. When I say bad things to people ,I either regret it or they deserve it.

Why do we do these things though, I guess itís just because of comeptition. I say these things for the same reason.

Bother me at Night?- 10/14/97

I canít really think of things t hat donít bother me at day that bother me at night. When something bothers me, it bothers me. People do say things to me that make me think though. Sometimes, I think about thing for a long time, but Iíve never had to think about this.

Con for Kindness- 10/16/97

[This is my reaction to hearing a story about some guy who would be really nice to people, then steal their stuff] By God! I hope that never happens. I am very kind, most of the time. Sometimes I get carried away and get cockey about it, but I am criticaal about myself when it comes to judging how mean my actions are.

I am very friendly to people who need it. There are people who sit by themselves, or feel out of place. I try to talk to them, and help them find their way, unless theyíre jerks, then I leave them alone. [in all honesty I was lying to myself during that paragraph, and that can by told by the amount of detail I put into it. Actually, I was too shy to do such a thing, and I was one of those people sitting there alone]

I try to help people do things, to the best I can if it comes to hauling 8 chairs on my back and carrying 3 music stands to help set up for a concert, I will, and more [that was referring to something I did in 8th grade]

Itís hard for me to say if Iím kind though, thatís one of those things other people judge.

What to do for #2- 10/22/97

[this is about what I need to do to help my grades 2nd quarter] Spanish Ė a huge problem there, I understand whatís going on in the class, itís just a matter of doing good on the test.

Civics Ė I need to do better on my homework since they check it every time.

Creative Writing Ė Need to make up my mind for semester project

English Ė get a little more out of the stories

Biology Ė Take my time with my labs

Goemetry, HSS, and band - OK

Home Ė Eat a little more and wake up better

The drugsie Hooker and the Punishment- 10/30/97

[this is referring to what I think should be the proper punishment for this guy who was around 40 and raped 5 year old girls, who happened to get life in prison] Now my mind is a little different than the American court system. That man is guilty. Let me tell you the punishmentÖCastration. Then cut off this toes, hang him by his ankles and let him chock on his own blood that hurt so many others [I was beginning to develop a knack for figuring out grotesque punishments I guess]

How I Got here- 11/6/97

If you wish to view the nifty doodling beside this entry here it is.

[this is referring to the events of my life that lead to this moment in class that I remember] Events Ė Birth, first time using toilet, first day of school, first fight, Bush inaguration, meeting JT, David and David, First Ward [itís a school], first time at Drown Summit, Lincold Heights, Marie G. Davis, met tons of people, first lessons in kindness, reading Terry Brooks books, Travisís Death, first math project, 3 Fís, Basketball (finished 2nd again), piano, first day at Myers Park, NOW

My parents and my grandmother- 11/10/97

My parents are probably thankful for UNCG looking so much at my brother David. They think he has a good chance at a scholarship and hopes he does

My grandmother is probably thankful for her new ar. She got it this summer, and it runs better than her old one (which is currently my brotherís and has had a rather hefty repair bill from lack of good treatment)

Gangs, Gangs, oh the shame- 11/13/97

I canít believe that people actually join those things! Love? I donít call getting the crap beat out of you love. All they are are excuses to let your anger out on the world. They have no good points, just a group of people whoís sole purpose is to harm others.

Mondays, the best of times, the worst of times- 11/17/97

The perfect Monday, Wake up at 9:30 Am because there was no school. I get up, fix some eggs, and there is a whole gallon of milk. I watch some TV, run around the block a bit, do some other stuffÖdadedadeda.

Worst Monday Ė I hate to say this, but it was on my birthday. No one cared about it, other than I was hit by a book a few times before I picked it up and threw it out the classroom. I got home, my dad was very stressed out. ďHe worked for Jefferson Pilot, and they asked too muchĒ and my mom got home late. There was pleanty of arguing and it wasnít fun.

The American Dream?? Huh?- 11/19/97

How do I plan to persue it? Plain and simple, Live life, and I shall find a way. Brief statement, but a true one.

What I would bring to another planet (if I could only bring 3 things)- 12/9/97

1. A sleeping bad 2. A bible 3. A sapling of a tree

Teens Descriminated (itís been a long time)- 1/20/97

Yes, we are descriminated by our age. Many people take for granted what we have been through and how we think. I for one have been in the middle of a lot of bickering over the last three months and I have grown quite a bit from it.

They also think that we are how they were back then, wreckless and naÔve. In some ways, that is true. But just because we are 16 we canít get a full license ďOh, they havnít been through enough.Ē The only thing from that is that there will be a bunch of naÔve, inexperienced, 18 year old drivers

Unfortunantly, that was all that I found in my journal. I guess that would be due to the fact that HSS became nothing more than another English class. Maybe it has to do with Mrs. Pierce not liking my ranting and raving during class discussion. Either way, I wish there was more, because this has given me some interesting insight. Many things have changed, but some will always remain the same.

Maddending madness can be found here

If you arn't impressed (which I wouldn't be surprised if you wern't), Go somewhere of meaning